Throughout life, we go through different obstacles, are faced with new challenges, and are forced to make some tough decisions that will eventually shape the person we are, will become, and the life that we will live. For me, as it may be for many of you, these times seem to come far too often. Though the issue may be of a different cloth, it takes a toll on you and causes you to continually reevaluate your life and the people in it (which isn't so bad afterall).
With people like me, people who look for acceptance (to be liked by all-yes it is unrealistic, but I am a lover lol), a person who is just becoming comfortable within herself and building self-confidence (that I never had before), it can truly be damaging and cause a set back to hear such demoralizing words. To be made to feel inferior, less than, like nothing, is cruel and uncalled for. This may sound so elementary to some of you reading this, but until you know someone with low self-esteem or have have been that person with low self esteem; someone who has taken the negative words others have said about you and internalized them until you believed them, you may never understand what I am describing. It is hurtful to hear empty accusations, alternative facts, and opinions from someone who doesn't know you well enough to make those claims. How can a person who has never had a conversation with you about your life draw such absurd conclusions directed at your character?
Hence I have learned that some people just aren't meant to be an intimate part of your life. I have accepted that there are seasons of friendships /relationships and they don't all last for forever. When you are trying to do better, be better, and strive for better, the devil will always rear its ugly head. Sometimes in forms that are closest to you that were unforeseen. I am glad that I have learned to love myself and stand up for what I believe in and for myself. It is a feeling like no other. I have allowed myself to understand that sometimes, because of peoples actions, its time for them to exit your life, no matter the role they play.
To those of you who are reading and have low self esteem, build yourselves up. Write down a list of your good qualities. Repeat those positive affirmations to yourself daily and say them until you believe them. They are already true, you just have to build yourself up to be able to give off that positive energy instead of becoming who they say you are. No one can determine your way in life but you. Think positive and your life will be positive. This does not mean hard times won't come. It may even mean tougher times are coming because you are working so hard at increasing your worth and your happiness. But keep on pushing through. Not everyone wants you to succeed, but as long as you want it and work towards it, the naysayers DO NOT MATTER! Stand up for yourself but remember to be respectful to those who try and bring you down in spite of you trying to come up. You respect yourself by respecting others!
To those who recently felt disrespected by my words, I apologize. Not for the sternness in my stance for myself, but for the harshness of my language. However, I will not tolerate being belittled, knocked down and destroyed any longer. Its time to take a stand and be my own voice.
There are times when words have been exchanged, feelings exposed and memories made that can't be erased that eventually cause the bough to break.......
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