What Happens Now?

Some call it desperation, others may call it hope, but there has always been 'something' inside of me that is immensely filled with love and hope. It is often an extremely overwhelming feeling. Because of the depth of love I feel, it often causes me to overdo and become overbearing. I want others to know and understand my genuine nature and judge me not for my mistakes or poor judgement.

When I Saw You!

At first sight.....
His smile was big. He was full of humor, but His jokes were oh so corny.
But shortly hereafter, the exchange was made and all the negative faded away.


I saw your potential. I saw your drive.
I saw your ambition, your eagerness to survive.
I saw your caring nature, full of compassion and love.
I saw your kindness and your tenderness too.
Your attentiveness and gentle touch were more than I had ever received.
Took me by surprise and at that moment you were golden to me.

Coming Home

Tears roll down my face as I physically and emotionally feel every. single. ounce. of. emotion..... from each character of the television show 'All American' on The CW Network. The lessons of patience, vulnerability, love, family, facing your past and admitting your wrongs, has brought an overwhelming sense of reality right to my doorstep. I am currently in a state of limbo, making more adjustments in my life, accepting on new things and welcoming new people into my life and this episode definitely hit home.

Episode(7) of season two is still tugging on my heartstrings. I feel someone somewhere is trying to get a message to me on the path in which I should follow now. I am not one who 'goes easily' or willingly makes changes in my life. It is usually a traumatic event that has occurred repetitiously over and over again that pushes me to make adjustments in my life. I am stubborn or a 'late bloomer' as my mother likes to refer to me as. I am learning as I get older, to not take so long in my transitions. I am pretty sure that I have prolonged a hell of a lot of blessings that would have come earlier in life had I been more obedient.

'Love' in Disguise

I gave my heart to the wrong one! I was seeking things I wanted and was blinded by what I didn't want to see. Looking back, I was so desperate for love that I did everything in attempt to gain it. Going above and beyond, giving more to him than I gave to myself, and I even went so far as to give wife privileges to a man (or lack there of) who couldn't even make me his 'Main' girl, let alone his actual girlfriend or wife!

Piece X Peace

After a long hiatus of not blogging and a lot of behind the scene reflection, I am back for another mental release. Over the last 14 months, I have gone through probably every emotion there is beyond the traditional 4 emotions/stages of grief everyone talks about. Through my time away from my blog I spent an immense time working on self. I am that girl... 'that emotional girl' that evaluates and reevaluates every little thing. I typically beat up on myself but this time I learned to love myself (for the 1st time eva). What doesn't break (kill) you, only makes you stronger!

Scratching the Surface

KNOWLEDGE:

      Noun

1. facts, information, and skills acquired by a person through experience or education; the theoretical or practical understanding of a subject.

"Knowledge is power" is a controversial cliché used throughout the world. This quote, like many others, has been manipulated, changed and abused for the advantage of whomever is using it. When it is beneficial, individuals tend to change the meaning behind the positivity of the message. It's just like how rumors get started. Someone says something to another person, that person passes it along to the next, but whether intentionally or unintentionally, the words of the original individual get altered. Sometimes words are added, left out or simply misstated to the next and the next and the next, until finally it reaches a point where the message is no longer in its original state. 

Grandma's Hands

                  A family that prays together, stays together...... 

That's what the old adage says right? 

For some, family is very meaningful and taken very seriously while others gloat about being okay all by themselves because they trust no-one and 'family ain't never done nothing for me' (did I get that right). Well, for me my family is all I have ever had and all I have ever known. However the strength and connection of the relationships do differ, as a whole everyone has always been pretty supportive of one another. 

Stories told to me by others throughout the years, movies depicting family feuds on the screen, books painting pictures of family love verses family hate have all been a figment of imagination to me thus far because there has never been a huge blow that caused separation between my family. But this time it was like an earthquake--shattering lives and separating bonds.