Married-To-Be

Being married is a dream I have had since I was a young girl. The older I got the more passionate I became about becoming a wife. Back in my college days, my friends and I would touch on the subject here and there, daydreaming of how we pictured our wedding day to be. I remember naively believing I would be married by the age of 25 and have all of my children (4 at the moment) by the time I turned 33. Now at the tender age of 35 in a half (yes I said and a half), I have become severely obsessed with the desire to be married and become Mrs. Anybody. 

Most of the guys I have dated for any extended period of time I dated with the intention of things growing serious and the possibility of marriage to be an option. Now, being that I did not want to scare any prospects away, I did not mention the idea of marriage at all to any of them. I was almost ashamed to verbalize the desire to date with the intention of marriage in fear men would tuck their tales and run. 

I Wish....

I wish you well
I wish you wealth
I wish you love
I wish you joy
I wish you happiness
I wish you growth and maturity with each day you grow older
I wish you peace
I wish you longevity
I wish you health
I wish you sunshine on your bleakest days
I wish for forgiveness to you and from you
I wish you all the things you could ask for and more
I wish you a happily forever after

I wish you well.....


~YWG

Be good to yourself

From the time I can remember - going even further to times I cannot remember (but others do), I have have severe difficulty handling relationships of all kinds. Then, I did not notice what was transpiring or how to address it. But as I have aged, I began to notice that something was very different about me and how I deal with my emotions and how I interact with others.

Never Can Say Goodbye: The Final Chapter - Love you Still

It is  Thursday, September 6th, 7:06 am. I am sitting at my desk trying to sort through my thoughts and slow down my racing mind. I am suppose to be here writing about my 1 year blog anniversary (that I missed on August 30th), but instead I am here to clear my mind of the events that have taken place over the last 3 weeks.

The end began just one day before I left for my cruise to the Bahamas, August 15th. I was having a conversation with Fairfield that started innocent and fun an turned out the be the beginning of the end of our relationship. One misunderstanding sabotaged the 4+ (almost 5) year long relationship/friendship I had with the man I believed would be my lifetime lover, friend, and partner.

I am in disbelief that someone I have spent so much time with and given so much of myself to, would-could walk away from me with nothing short of a second thought. We have at some point both threatened to cease communication with one another, but never managed to complete the task. But I am here today to tell you that that day has come, and it has come far to soon for me. I have been stronger than I imagined - not reaching out to him in the mist of his departure. But he has still managed to reach out to me 4 times over the course of the last 3 weeks. I have responded to some of his attempts and ignored others in order to prevent the pain from resurfacing it nasty little head. Each time I hear from him feels like the knife being inserted and ripped out all over again.

In Daddy's Eyes

Inspiration, motivation and determination come in many different forms from many different people. Some people are easily motivated while others need the force of a small army to help them through everyday life, (I am one of those people). It is often true that, although each of our journeys is different, they can be very similar when categorizing them in general scenarios. What I mean by this is you may have a friend who has been sick with an illness (other than your common cold) and struggled getting their health back on track, making ends meet due to overwhelming doctor bills, and so on. You too may have experienced some health scares of your own. You both dealt with your sickness in different ways as it may have affected your bodies in different ways, but you both know what it is like to have gone through a series of health complications. Our life experiences, though different, are sometimes very similar and allow us to share our stories and our experiences with one another in hopes of building a bond or just to show one another that you are not alone. No matter what we go through - it shapes the individuals we become. Surrounding yourself with people who love and care for you is so important and necessary (at least for me).

Gotcha Day

The moment when you hold your child for the first time or look deep into their eyes and feel nothing but pure peace, joy and happiness, is the moment your life changes for forever. 

Parenthood is the most rewarding adventure in this world. It offers so much satisfaction and brings about so many emotions. In an instant a mom can go from smiling and laughing to tearing up as she watches her daughter on stage performing a ballet routine or her son standing on home plate ready for his first t-ball game. The many wonders of motherhood are in abundance and never-ending. 

While these moments are so heartwarming and fulfilling, it is not an experience every woman gets to take part in from the womb. Yes, I know that you do not have to be blood related to be an amazing parent, but for some, it is a dream they have dreamt that may never come true. Numerous doctor visits, multiiple treatments, long days and even longer nights praying for a miracle child to begin growing in their womb are the stories of so many women in this life. Despite the disappointment and heart break, they do not let go of their desire to become parents so they seek out adoption. These women that seek to adopt are some of the most caring, selfless individuals and have chosen to give children the opportunity to be raised in a loving healthy environment that they otherwise may never have been given. They take a chance on these children whom they do not know; they offer their love, their home  and their family to these little ones; often unknowing of their background or the situations in which they come from. If it weren't for a selfless woman like my mom (and my dad), I may have a different story to tell you; but because they did come into my life I am honored to share my story with you.

Love You to the Moon and Back

Do you believe in love at first sight? Ever met someone and from the moment you laid eyes on them, you knew they were the one? Well I have. The love of my life was born on May 8, 2013, and from the moment I knew she as growing inside my womb, I began to love her. For the past 4 years I have been a single mother to her and the only parent she's known. However, I am so fortunate to have the help of my parents, aunts, uncles, and a host of cousins and close friends, as I go through the joys... and the pains, of motherhood. It has been a true blessing thus far, but today I am feeling uneasy, uncertain and fearful about the transition that is about to take place in the near future.

In just a short time from now, I will be reintroducing my daughter to someone new. I am under undeniable anxiety pressures at the moment due to patterns previously established.  I welcome the idea of this new relationship formation but am fearful of her initial reaction. Mind you, my daughter is, and has always been, very particular when it comes to meeting new people. She may love you, she may not fool with you at all, or she may warm up to you in time. It's almost like she has a sixth sense about people and their intensions. It is my goal to help her adjust to this new experience the best way possible but protect her at the same time. As many of you already know, from reading past blogs, I am currently rediscovering who I am in my personal life, so this curve ball that has been thrown is the scariest shit ever. I am so afraid that this will cause me to backtrack on the amazing progress that has already been made. The story behind the history of this mystery person previously established is one that you wouldn't believe if I told you, so I won't, lol (not now anyways). I am just trying to find my way; to find a balance, in this relationship so that it does not negatively affect my daughter.