Never Can Say Goodbye: The Final Chapter - Love you Still

Thursday, September 6, 2018



It is  Thursday, September 6th, 7:06 am. I am sitting at my desk trying to sort through my thoughts and slow down my racing mind. I am suppose to be here writing about my 1 year blog anniversary (that I missed on August 30th), but instead I am here to clear my mind of the events that have taken place over the last 3 weeks.

The end began just one day before I left for my cruise to the Bahamas, August 15th. I was having a conversation with Fairfield that started innocent and fun an turned out the be the beginning of the end of our relationship. One misunderstanding sabotaged the 4+ (almost 5) year long relationship/friendship I had with the man I believed would be my lifetime lover, friend, and partner.

I am in disbelief that someone I have spent so much time with and given so much of myself to, would-could walk away from me with nothing short of a second thought. We have at some point both threatened to cease communication with one another, but never managed to complete the task. But I am here today to tell you that that day has come, and it has come far to soon for me. I have been stronger than I imagined - not reaching out to him in the mist of his departure. But he has still managed to reach out to me 4 times over the course of the last 3 weeks. I have responded to some of his attempts and ignored others in order to prevent the pain from resurfacing it nasty little head. Each time I hear from him feels like the knife being inserted and ripped out all over again.

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In Daddy's Eyes

Wednesday, May 30, 2018




Inspiration, motivation and determination come in many different forms from many different people. Some people are easily motivated while others need the force of a small army to help them through everyday life, (I am one of those people). It is often true that, although each of our journeys is different, they can be very similar when categorizing them in general scenarios. What I mean by this is you may have a friend who has been sick with an illness (other than your common cold) and struggled getting their health back on track, making ends meet due to overwhelming doctor bills, and so on. You too may have experienced some health scares of your own. You both dealt with your sickness in different ways as it may have affected your bodies in different ways, but you both know what it is like to have gone through a series of health complications. Our life experiences, though different, are sometimes very similar and allow us to share our stories and our experiences with one another in hopes of building a bond or just to show one another that you are not alone. No matter what we go through - it shapes the individuals we become. Surrounding yourself with people who love and care for you is so important and necessary (at least for me).

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Gotcha Day

Thursday, March 29, 2018





The moment when you hold your child for the first time or look deep into their eyes and feel nothing but pure peace, joy and happiness, is the moment your life changes for forever. 

Parenthood is the most rewarding adventure in this world. It offers so much satisfaction and brings about so many emotions. In an instant a mom can go from smiling and laughing to tearing up as she watches her daughter on stage performing a ballet routine or her son standing on home plate ready for his first t-ball game. The many wonders of motherhood are in abundance and never-ending. 

While these moments are so heartwarming and fulfilling, it is not an experience every woman gets to take part in from the womb. Yes, I know that you do not have to be blood related to be an amazing parent, but for some, it is a dream they have dreamt that may never come true. Numerous doctor visits, multiiple treatments, long days and even longer nights praying for a miracle child to begin growing in their womb are the stories of so many women in this life. Despite the disappointment and heart break, they do not let go of their desire to become parents so they seek out adoption. These women that seek to adopt are some of the most caring, selfless individuals and have chosen to give children the opportunity to be raised in a loving healthy environment that they otherwise may never have been given. They take a chance on these children whom they do not know; they offer their love, their home  and their family to these little ones; often unknowing of their background or the situations in which they come from. If it weren't for a selfless woman like my mom (and my dad), I may have a different story to tell you; but because they did come into my life I am honored to share my story with you.

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