Don't Rush Love, Let It Find You

Friday, February 11, 2022

Looking back over the years, remembering what I had, who I had, things and people I lost, has made me appreciate everything in my life ten times more. The struggles I have encountered and overcome have shaped the woman I am today. There have been good times, sad times, dark times, and times that have created lasting memories, lessons and blessings. 

After discovering that keeping things bottled up is unhealthy and can become dangerous, I have become a woman of many words over the last several years. Very vocal and expressive. I have realized that I am worthy to myself and anyone who feels I am unworthy does not need to be a part of my life. Letting go has always been something I struggled with. I felt as though, what am I losing? Am I making the right decision? Am I giving up? What if I never find something or someone better? Am I worthy of finding better? Am I worthy of love?

Though sometimes I get in my head, for the most part these negative thoughts are far behind me. Holding on to toxic habits, traits, thoughts, negative self-talk, and toxic people will tear you down. I am not willing to do that to myself anymore. I only want to continue to build myself up. The strength and confidence I have gained is unbelievable. It has been life changing. I never knew what peace felt like until I let go of what and who no longer served meaningful purpose in my life. 

The past two years have meant so much to me. I have overcome so much mentally and emotionally that I myself am even shocked and in disbelief. But I am damn sure glad I am in a much better head space. I have been able to let my guard down. I learned to love myself, and how to let someone else love me in return. I was never a believer in the old adage "when you stop looking, love will find you'...until love found me! I didn't go looking for love, and it found me! 

They say your partner should be your best friend!

When love found me, I found my best friend. When love found me, I understood what it means to have trust. When love found me, I felt what it has always meant to feel like. When love found me, I found love. I found you! Neither of us knows what the future holds. Neither of us knows how far this will go. Neither of us knows how much more our love will grow. But I am here to tell you, if you are patient with me, I will be patient with you. Love, real love does not happen on accident. it is pure and genuine and unconditional. The love that found me is kind, soft, gentle, supportive, caring, empathetic, understanding, and honest. 

Being loved by you is a real dream come true. This woman of so many words is often speechless trying to describe you. Who you are and how you make me feel is indescribable. I do my best to articulate into words what my heart feels the best as I can. I hope that you feel that I treat well. Like you deserved to be loved, respected and treated. I can only hope that what you do for me I can do for you. I pray that that I make you feel as loved and as special as you make me feel. 

I tell you things I have never told a soul. I tell you things others would call me stupid for sharing with you. I am so comfortable with you. Everything is so easy and flows so well. I can be honest with you about other men and encounters I have had in the past, even when you were in the picture. (I hope that doesn't make you uncomfortable). I am 100% myself with you. No fear of judgment, no hard feelings. I love the way we discuss our bumps along the way in an adult manner. We talk it over, share how we feel, and leave it in the past. I love the way that there's never a dull moment or awkward silence. From the day we met, it was an instant connection and chemistry and I am not ready to let it go. 

I promise to work on getting out of my head, overthinking and overanalyzing. I give you my word I will continue to be honest and open with you. I am going to give this love a chance, not push it away. My best friend does not complete me. He does not hold the key to my happiness, he only adds to it and that is more that I could ever ask for. I am going to give my new best friend the best of me!

My Peace. The calm to my storm. My reassurance. My best friend. My lover. My baby. My love.

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