What's Meant To Be

 They always say, what's meant to be will be. But how much truth lies in "what will be, will be?" it's just like faith without work is dead. You have to work for what you want in life, so why do we simply believe, what will be, will be? When there is a ob you want, do you just want it? Or do you apply for it? Learn about the company and what you can bring to the table? Do you do your best when you get that job, or do you show up late, half ass your duties and disrespect anyone and anything that isn't to your liking? So again, is 'what will be, truly what will be', if you don't put in the effort to get what you actually want to be?

Love works the same way. You can have a crush, but unless you make those feelings known to your crush, what are the chances that anything will ever become of 'just having a crush'? If there is something you really want no matter what it is, you are willing to take a chance on it. It may not always work out the way you want it to, but you won't ever know unless you try. Lay your cards on the table, speak on what you want, then make it happen. Nothing in life, as I know it, comes for free. Nothing comes without work and dedication. 

If you have read any of my past blogs, you may have detected a patten. A pattern of hurt, betrayal, emotional instability and a woman in complete denial of the male company she has kept in the past. Most of my blog posts have been written in a state of desperation, anger, and heartbreak. But this one comes from a place of learned lessons, a completely healed heart & soul, and an abundance of positivity, and pure love. Having healed has afforded me so many new perspectives on life, love and my career. I am open, honest, up front, and willing to take responsible/realistic chances on what it is that I want. What I wanted in the past was jaded by what I dreamed of and not what was right in front of me, or right for me. I had on blinders. Ignoring red flags. Allowing others to belittle me and bring me down, instead of surrounding myself with those willing to lift me up. I cannot express the importance of healing after trauma enough. It is hard and it takes time. Each of us heal and deal in our own ways, but no matter the path to peace you take, make sure you travel it so that you can receive what you've been wanting and waiting for. 

My track record with relationships is shameful. I have accepted more disrespect than I should have allowed. I was lied to and betrayed more times than I care to admit. But now that I am ready to receive more and understand that I deserve more, I am able to receive more. I will admit, sometimes those old insecurities try to creep back in. The made up scenarios tend to make their way back to the forefront, are sometimes hard to fight. Replaying similar situations, similar excuses (which may actually be truths in current situations), and attaching similar traits and habits from those in the past onto those in the present, can be tricky and hard to let go. These are the times that truth and transparency are key. I have learned that in order to build, there can be no deception, even if it may hurt those you are trying to build with. But holding on to the lies and creating more only ruin your chances of a future in every aspect of life. 

What will be, will be, if you put in the work. 

Knowing what I know now. Knowing who I have in my life now, is the best place I have been in a long, long time. Being able to be open without fear of resentment or disrespect. Knowing that I can be who I am at all times without being belittled or ghosted. But there is still that fear of 'what if' this is not as real as it seems, not as true as it's being told, not genuine and only superficial and mimicked. When will a person truly know when it's right? When it's real?When it's for them? How much effort will be invested from both people to reassure each other is valued and appreciated. How will you know when the time is right to move forward to another level? How will you know? How will you know?

What's meant to be, cannot exist, if there is no work being made to make it be!

My heart is full. My glow is real. My soul is fulfilled. My happiness has been enhanced and my smile is much brighter. Most of my insecurities have faded, prior to and now because of what I have found in you. But my heart would be broken if none of this was completely true. I am giving you parts of me that were broken that I fixed, parts of me that were hidden and now can finally be seen, parts of me that have been through the ringer, through the fire, through the storm and the rain. I have worked too long and too hard to be bent or broken ever again. I am vocal about it all. Not for pity or or sympathy. But to let you know, I can be and am ready to be loved. For the right reasons, not the wrong. To be able to experience new things and make new, more healthy memories. So from me to you, I am showing you these things that are a part of me, that have made me. Love me, laugh with me dont play me or play with me.....

"What's meant to be, cannot be without the work to make it be"