'We' Can't Breathe

We can't breathe with your guns in our faces
We can't breathe with your knees on our necks
We can't breathe when we are pulled over for fitting a description
We can't breathe when our backs are towards the walls
We can't breathe with our hands bound behind our backs
We can't breathe behind the bars of the jail house, caged up like animals
We can't breathe while walking down the street
We can't breathe while becoming entrepreneurs trying to feed our families
We can't breathe when our sons, brothers, husbands, friends; OUR KINGS, don't come home at night

0

To All The Boys I Loved Before...

To all the boys I loved before......
Thank you for showing me what I don't deserve and teaching me that not every guy can be or will be for me. Thank you for causing my heart to break and shatter into a million pieces. It may have taken over a dozed years to stitch back the broken pieces that you each contributed to, but I learned so much through out the process. Thank you for sharing with me what I did right and what I did wrong (verbally & nonverbally). Thank you for the good times and the bad. Thank you for making me take the time to reflect, grow, mature, and discover who I am, who I truly am without YOU! Each experience, each lesson, opened my eyes to the qualities/characteristics I want and don't want in a partner/relationship. The pain you caused was worth it. I needed to feel it, to teach me not to go back there again......

0

No Longer Ashamed

My walls are down, my skin exposed, I am baring it all to save my soul. Growing  up, I felt as though I was a good person; warm, welcoming, caring, loving, nurturing, and helpful. As an adult I have been forced to take a step back and look at myself from a more, not so pleasant perspective. Some of the experiences in life have changed how I view myself and others. Friendships that went wrong, messy college girls spreading rumors, shaming my name, and destroying bonds built over time. A relationship built on jealousy, violence and distrust; parents pushing for perfection, good grades and money saving tactics. My trust in people is gone. My heart is broken.

Looking in the mirror I see what you say I am; rude, disrespectful negative and uncompromising. After decades of being told you're something you never thought you were, you start to buy into the hype. Trying your best to let the good shine through but being blocked by the negativity and shamefulness.

After years of college drama and nasty girl talk, I decided to decrease my circle of friends and stick to those I knew had and would always have my back. Rumors were spread about me and about things I was saying about the girls I hung with the most. The rumors put a strain on the trust we had with one another.  But I still remained and attempted to mend the damage that was done. I looked up to them, I wanted to be more like them, trendy, extroverted, fun and fabulous. I was trying to be someone else so I was more in the “in crowd”; more accepted. Although I was liked, I felt I was missing out because I was not sleeping around, dismissing my morals and because I dressed more tomboyish than the girls in my circle. I felt strongly about protecting friendships I had made in life and did all I could to keep them in-tact.

6

Doses of Khandi

I know everyone has that one "go to"  remedy that can ultimately change your mood in an instance. It's like heaven on earth right?! Well I consider myself a late bloomer and I just discovered my own personal remedy for this just last year. I bet your thinking, just tell us already.... Well it's Khandi!! No, it's not your average melt in your mouth chocolate, or sweet and sour gummies. No now-a-laters or sweet tarts, just good ole' fashioned Khandi, or Khandi cane as I sometimes say. It's the one thing, or in this case - person, who helped me to patch up the wounds of my heart. My go to help me feel better remedy is my aunt Khandi. We only met one year ago but have grown closer than close, closer than most in this short period of time. She has inspired me to have faith in myself and to trust in the Lord and Savior Jesus Christ with all my heart. It is because of the pep talks with this amazing lady, and Jesus of course, that I have overcome depression, a bipolar diagnosis, relationship obstacles, baby-daddy drama and other personal struggles.

0

Too many things at once

Ever sit down and try to focus on one or two things at a time, only to discover your mind actually has about 100 things going on at once? Well, welcome to the wanders of my mind. As I sit at my desk trying to concentrate on writing my very first blog and what it should be about, I am finding that my thoughts are jumbled and bouncing all over the place. Let's see what I can make of this first post. I will start by attempting to give you a glimpse into who I am.

I grew up in a two parent household to an amazing set of parents. I was an only child for 9 years...and then there were two! My father was a college basketball player and middle school P.E. teacher and JV basketball coach. So naturally, I wanted to 'be like my daddy" and got involved in dance and sports at the age of 4 or 5. I grew up with a passion for dance (hip-hop mainly even though I can't dance a lick, I got rhythm tho) and basketball.

4